Holiday Shopping

At Christmas you are allowed to go crazy and buy all the wierd things you want, then before you can feel stupid, you can wrap them up and give them to your loved ones and friends.

For example, I was looking for a nice hostess gift for a friend of mine, and googled “hostess gifts.” This brought up the Crate & Barrel site. The first item was “Christmas Tree-to-Be,” which is a bag of dirt and a pine tree seed. I really want to buy this to see if it works, but I can’t think of anyone to give it to, and I probably shouldn’t attempt to grow it myself. What with my murderous history with plants and all.

There were a few other head-scratchers on their suggestion list like the “5-piece beer sampler set.” From the description, you might imagine five bottles of beer. But you’d be wrong. Actually it’s five empty glasses numbered 1-5. I don’t get it.

The oddest hostess gifts are the set of four toothbrushes (seriously) and a “silver clothes pin.” I understand what the toothbrushes are for (an especially thoughtful hostess gift if you plan on passing out at the Christmas party and spending the night), but what earthly good is a clothes pin, silver or otherwise. I think I’ll bring my tried and true friend, the wine bottle.

For the man in your life, “Uncommon Goods” has a lot of uncommon stuff on their website. The first gift suggestion “for men” was a Toggle Switch. I was mystified by this item, which is basically a light swtich turned inside out so all the mechanics are showing. My husband would like this, which is why I’m not buying it. I will probably wake up some morning and discover myself in a steampunk nightmare.

Whiskey stones are big this year over at Uncommon Goods, although why anyone would want to put stones in their whiskey is beyond me. Also, since when are stones “uncommon?” A bit less common is the stone whiskey dispenser. Not sure why this is necessary. Maybe I’ll just get him the whiskey and skip the stones.

Brookstone suggest Nose & Ear Trimmers for the man in your life. I’ll bet this makes a stunning gift (not that I plan to find out). Or you can go with the Nap Robe for the “silkiest, most touchable fabric . . . for lounging.” If your man needs this sort of encouragement to “lounge,” by all means pick one up for $69.99, but be prepared to mow the lawn yourself on weekends.

I landed in the Gadgets and Gear website while searching for a gift for my little grandson. I was attracted by the “mustache pacifier” for $12.95. This pacifer is made of clear plastic except for the mustache painted on the lip. When a child sticks the pacifier in his mouth, he looks like he has a mustache. Endless cheap merriment for the rest of us on Christmas.

Finally, for you guys out there, a few shopping tips. Uncommon Goods suggests “Salts of the World Test Tube Set” or the “spongester” (a stainless steel rack for your lady’s kitchen sponge). Brookstone rolls out “elastic shoe laces” and the “App-controlled wireless spy tank.”

Guys, I do NOT recommend any of these items unless you want to be wearing the stone whiskey dispenser on your head on Christmas morning. Something shiny from the local jeweler would be a much safer bet.

 

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