What Do Ladies Think?

I recently came across a website called Answerbag where people can post any question in the world — no matter how bizarre — and someone will answer it. A lady posted this age-old question, “Who do ladies think are the most romantic men on earth?” (Never gets old, does it?)

Frenchmen, of course, got the nod. But a few other answers were surprises. A lady who refused to identify herself replied, “I think that the most romantic men on earth are the ones who act like men and yet do not lord themselves over women nor do they act like sniveling suck-ups to them. Also, I am a sucker for a Scottish accent.” I wonder how a sniveling suck-up with a Scottish accent would fare.

Then there’s this question from Anonymous: “Ladies, do you think men on crutches are sexy?” Huh? A lady named Lollypop provides the eternal-maternal answer: I don’t class men on crutches sexy, neither would I if they were on a bike. It depends on who you are that makes you sexually attractive or not.”

Thank you, Miss Lollypop for the vague answer. How about giving this poor three-legged guy an answer he can grab onto: “Well, Anonymous, it’s funny you should ask. Yes, I think guys on crutches are mucho sexy. In fact all my boyfriends are on crutches. By the way, where do you live? Do you happen to have a handicap parking sticker for your car?”

See? That wasn’t so hard.

One more. A man named Baxter asks: “What do ladies love about a bank robber?” (I couldn’t make this up if I tried.) Right out of the box, Cassandra points out the obvious. “Because you’re percieved as a bad boy, and bad boys are, supposedly, a lot of fun . . .” A second response, I suspect from a guy, gets to the heart of the matter: “Because any dumb ass can rob a bank not saying you are. I mean you don’t even need a gun. But that isn’t your question: work that angle if you can!” (Good to know that robbing a bank doesn’t automatically make you a dumb ass.)

Personally, I’d avoid robbing banks to attract the ladies. If you get caught, you’re going to have ten to fifteen years of down time before you can “work that angle.” Might not be worth it. I recommend going with the Scottish accent, and if that doesn’t work, it’s time to dust off your crutches.

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